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All Deviations

DE: Somewhere in the book by ~KeeperOfLight:iconKeeperOfLight:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Life Stories




  
Date: 05/12/08                 Part One                By: Crysta Perak

“It always happens, everywhere I go, most of the time, he’s there, but why? Is it fate or just purely coincidence? Ah man, I don’t know. It just happens all too often!” I recounted breathlessly my dramatic story to both of my companions, Lori and Andi, during our lunch in the eating grounds of the learning center. I am hoping maybe these humans will get this problem sorted out for me, or at least give me hints of advice, even though this story starts years before their lives came into existence.
“I don’t know maybe it is fate?” Laughed Lori.

;Man… it’s so funny watching Yue freaking out... when will she ever get a hold of herself, haha it’s like she’s been this way so long that she can’t ever change..’

‘You will get through it somehow…’

You have no idea how long this has been going for, Lori. One would expect a dragon of my wisdom, strength and honor to be aggressive and outgoing. Hah! You got me there. Ever since I was a Xinyon I have always been indecisive with my choices and actions. Being an exceptional creature such as myself, is not what all the legends tell them to be, humans have always been exaggerative, and always misdiagnosing situations related to the ‘supernatural’.
“Ah, yeah, you probably think this is all a big joke, don’t you Lori?” I replied as I took a bite of my toasted egg burger. Hmm, it seems she does, she thinks I am hopeless, that I can never take action for myself. Why can she not verbally express
herself when she has these thoughts?

‘Yue…your food looks gross like that…when will you learn?’

“Please close your mouth Yue.” Andi asked as she hit me in the back of the head.
I smiled warmly at Andi, and giggled a little. “I’m sor-“
“Not really, but if you are concerned, why don’t you do something about it?” Lori told me scrunching her eyebrows, “Talk to Aidan, tell him you like him, do something! Or I will!” Lori said as she smirked challengingly.

‘This will be good for you.’

‘I wonder if the cafeteria is selling yogurt tubes today...’

How in ones world can it be good for me if you force it over my head, Lori?
“For you, that would probably be something easy to you, but for me it’s a different story.” Especially with all those radiating presences, “You also better not say anything to him.” What a girl, why can she not understand how difficult it is to convey my feelings… especially towards that creature, and you expect me to do that, even when I also have a difficult time expressing myself towards normal humans, even at this age?
Soon after the first warning bell rang, we all went down towards our usual standing, at the end of the stairs, where the exit doors of the school are located. This is where we come to join our other friends, Kouta and Touya. They’re pretty close to us but they will be nothing more then friends.

‘There’s Andi, beautiful as always…Yue and Lori have are coming too...’

‘Charming, the girls have arrived.’

As expected. I guess Kouta see’s Andi as a bit more then a friend, or at least he wants it to be that way, but that won’t happen, the future is clear, Andi will meet Jason soon.  And Touya that player… or at least he tries.
At the moment I am mostly trying to skim through the stream of various thoughts and emotions, trying not to confuse the present with the past and future. You may think it is difficult, but for a dragon of my outstanding intellect, it very simple, that is, after all the training I experienced at Teluahala, from Aoi Bo Longwie during my first years as a Xinyon.

‘Oh yes…Yue…remember,’

“Hey, Yuki, do you remember that prank we pulled with the worm, around the beginning of the semester?” Asked Touya.
Hearing my name I shifted out of the stream to reply, “The worm…?” I said wondering what he was talking about for a moment. “Oh that! Yes, the worm we found on the side walk of the school, and then we went to put it in the change dispenser of the phone booth?” I started laughing as I saw the images go by in Touya’s mind as he remembered what had happened. Poor soul.
“Yeah, that one.  Touya said happily, “The girls face was hilarious!”
“Yes, it really was, though I feel sorry for that poor worm.” I fickled with my hair “Oh well, but it was worth it.” I smiled at Touya. “It was a great idea for you to come up with. We need to do it again sometime.”
Touya chuckled. “Yeah we do.”
‘Maybe she would go out with me… hmm’
I think not, I have my sights set elsewhere.
“So have you done anything about Aidan, Yue?” Lori asked.
Well of course I have not. We recently spoke about this during lunch. Do you expect me to run into his arms right after you mentioned that? To go right out and confess my feelings that I myself are not even sure what they are? Well, I do have my suspicions, it might be love, but it also might be a longing of some form of lust. His vessel is really attractive, it would not surprise me that the females of the human world would someday want to re-produce with him and create numerous offspring. Preposterous! Those human females would end up as many forms of decomposition on my cave floor before I will allow any of that.

‘I guess I will need to solve her problems for her…’

You can not solve other beings problems for them if they are not willing to accept your method of help, Lori. But knowing you, you will keep trying, just like the time you wanted to me try on the human face paint. The stuff you call ‘make-up’. That did not end up in a favorable situation, it seems that my containers skin is very sensitive to anything of that sort, and I ended up with several boils on my face that had the lasted the length of 18 days.

‘Who is this Aidan… it can’t be that Aiden?’

“No…” Replied I softly as I looked at Lori. “Why?” Then suddenly, the strange and familiar presence was approaching us. Why does he always come at the wrong moment?
“Hey Aidan” Lori yelled over as Aidan walked by. “Come over here.”

‘And see what we have in store for you’

The tall, blonde haired blue eyed creature stopped in his tracks and turned towards Lori. His presence like a soft summer wind, warm and lovely, but on the inside, trickles of thunder approached. “Yeah?”

‘Oh, she is Yue’s friend…what’s her name?’

“That girl over there wants to tell you something.” Lori pointed towards me.

‘Oh my god, look at her face…it’s...’

‘But I wanted to ask Yue out! But that guy…he’s beautiful even to me…woah…I’m a guy… I can’t think that!’

‘Score! Good going Yue!’

‘Good luck Yue, you can do it.’

I have not even done anything yet you humans, do not get so emotional over this moment!


                                                              Part two
I could feel the blood rushing up to my face, and the presence of Aiden standing in front of me makes my heart beat faster, so terribly fast. These damn human emotions are the payment I must endure to use this bewildering vessel. I wanted him to leave, but having him here, his essence beside me felt wonderful. I stole a look at him, his aura glowing, and his own human vessel’s physical features are even beautiful to me, but the creature behind that barrier is even more outstanding then anything the humans in this world will ever lay their eyes on.
For Lori to be thinking of telling Aiden those words…No, I can not have it! And this thinking is going to get me no where, I need actions, actions!

‘Oh…Yue  finally wants to speak to me?’

What do you mean by finally? Did I do something…did you expect something from me? We have known each other since kindergarten in this century’s human world. But we, as creatures go back to our first meeting many millennia ago. We have met coincidently through time, and now he shows up here, on my territory, again. Though, I am not about to push him away. Even if it might be my vessels human emotions reacting to his, my >inner dragon< has a similar and more powerful response.
Usually I would go through their mind; searching past memories of the humanoids and the various creatures crossing my path, but I for some reason am not able to bring myself to delve into this one. Difficult as it is though, it’s pulling me as a bear is attracted to honey.
I need to take this into my own hands…and get away from these expectant eyes.
“Um yes actually…I’d like you to come with me please” I said as I grabbed his arm and tugged him up the stairs. “We need a calmer setting.”  
He smiled and brushed his golden hair from his cerulean eyes. “I would think so too.”
From the contact of Aiden’s arm, as I led him up the stairs, heightened my senses to another level. Not only that of my vessels senses, but the dragon barred behind it. I am sure Aiden must be feeling the same way at this moment, or at least I would think so. I glanced back at him to see how he was faring. His expression was calm, but his eyes where clouded as if he was deeply thinking, or trying very hard to keep something away from the human world. Then finally it struck me and I let go of his arm.
"Sorry. This situation was entirely my error. I did not take action soon enough"
He lifted his hand up to indicate that he needed a moment. I nodded and now I’m waiting for him to finish relocating his sense. This gave me the opportunity to inspect him. His silk blonde hair along with his long eye lashes, his tall lanky figure, and how nice that it was slightly muscled. His vessels personality was caring, funny, adventurous, and flirtatious. This container is any humans dream in an attractive boy. But this is not what I am concerned about. It is what is beyond that vessel. From the millennia’s of knowing him I have never seen his true form, and he not mine. But I am undoubtly sure he has an idea of who and what I may be. And now, it is also time that I knew who he was.
©2008 ~KeeperOfLight
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Submitted: May 13
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Author's Comments

Look at these before reading this
Self Condemnation
[link]
Rules of the Vessel
[link]


Here is a story, I am trying to get the incoming thoughts from the people to.....be less confusing but I am having trouble doing that in first person, if anyone can help that would be awsome. (maine character hears the thoughts)
please edit as much as you are able to..lol or bash it.
[x]

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=LoloTehWormie:iconLoloTehWormie: May 14, 2008, 8:43:58 AM
There is a LOT of dialogue without attribution. it was kind of hard to follow the storyline. I may have to read it again. Punctuation and correct paragraphing would help organize the story. You also have a lot of references to people and places that also clog the beginning of the story. Try characterizing and giving background.
In your 'artist's comments' you stated that the main character hears the thoughts, but i didn't see any reference to that in the story. You need to make sure that the reader knows the point you are trying to get across. If you can't do in a subtle way, it's better to be straight-forward than not do it at all.
All you need is a little practice and a lot of editing. Good luck in writing in the future!

--
Lo

disturbing and violent...its fucking amazing!!! - Sarah Davison
~KeeperOfLight:iconKeeperOfLight: May 14, 2008, 8:54:59 AM
Thank you very much :) I did not realize you replied to the thread earlier. thank you.

The reason why there is alot of dialogue withought attribution is due to that there are a few stories that go before this that are not written yet ;;XD I know I probably should not have writen this part first...but due to it ramming in my head i had to get some of it out. lol..
Yep.. my english sucks.. and now you also make me realize that..I forgot to put a the 'rule' thing i did and the 'start-ish' part..thanks lol.
Anyways, thank you very much i will take all you have said into consideration :)

Cheers

--
Peace people. Dragons will come :)
=LoloTehWormie:iconLoloTehWormie: May 14, 2008, 9:01:12 AM
no problem. good luck. look forward to reading some more!

--
Lo

disturbing and violent...its fucking amazing!!! - Sarah Davison
~KeeperOfLight:iconKeeperOfLight: May 14, 2008, 1:59:00 PM
Thank you :)

--
Peace people. Dragons will come :)
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